How do I know if I'm in an abusive relationship?
Below are some examples of the abuse you may experience during a relationship:
Feeling like you are carefully watching your words and actions in fear of an explosion.
Feeling like you never know when the next act of violence may take place.
Telling a partner how to act and dress in public is a tactic of control. Your partner may tell you that they don't approve of an outfit or make you change into something else.
Telling you how to speak and interact with others during social settings.
Your partner may not allow you to work as a way to gain financial control over you and to isolate you.
Your partner may not allow you to work to ensure you cannot make connections with anyone other than him/her and confide in them what is happening in your relationship.
As an attempt to make you feel small, often an abuser will make fun or call their partner names, making them feel humiliated. This can take place in private or in front of others. This lowers the victim's self-esteem and establishes power for the abuser.
It is becoming more and more common for abusers to know the whereabouts of their partners. With technology being used as a weapon, a victim can be located at all hours of the day.
Applications such as Snapchat make it easy for abusers to monitor their victim's location. While it can often be persuaded as a trust concern, this classifies as stalking/cyber stalking.
Does your partner threaten to kill themselves or others? Death is the ultimate form of control.
When one threatens taking their own life, it puts the guilt on their victim. When the abuser threatens to kill the victim, a family member, a beloved pet they now fear for their life and the lives of others.
Three Oaks Foundation often fields requests for resources and information from students, teachers, and community agencies. The following are copies of the most commonly used materials. If you do not see what you are looking for please contact our crisis line at 613-966-3074.